


Someone Who Deserves Forgiving

by bilgegungoren00



Series: A Boy from Daxam and a Girl from Krypton (KaraMel) [17]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Guilt, Nightmare, Sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 07:39:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8881708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bilgegungoren00/pseuds/bilgegungoren00
Summary: Kara is there for Mon-El when he wakes up from a nightmare.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, I know, I know, I should be studying and not writing (or sleeping since it's 12:30 a.m., but honestly, what did I expect from myself?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Kara woke up with whimpering sounds coming from the other side of the bed. At first, she thought she was still dreaming as she had _totally_ forgotten there was someone else in the bed. She shifted her position to get comfortable, urging herself to just go back to sleep, when the sound came again. Yes, someone was _definitely_ crying next to her on the bed. It wasn’t a dream.

That was when she remembered Mon-El had stayed at her place at night.

Her eyes flew open as realization dawned on. _Of course_. How could she have forgotten she’d asked Mon-El to stay with her? How could she forgot how he’d kissed her, how he ran his fingers on her arms, her bare chest and stomach, how he lifted her up gently in his arms and laid her on the bed, how he’d been patient and soft with her as it had been their first sex… Of course, she’d been so tired after it that she’d immediately fallen into a deep sleep, but still…

Turning around in the bed, she found herself staring at Mon-El’s back. His shoulders were shaking slightly, and Kara was pretty sure he was clutching the mattress to keep himself together. Her heart cracked when she saw him like that. It hadn’t been that long since they started dating, but she knew him for months before that, and it was the first time she actually saw him cry. He normally kept it all together, no matter what, smiling or joking his way through everything. Kara could see sometimes a flash of pain in his eyes, or guild clouding his face, yet they disappeared too quickly before she could ask about it. She knew he was keeping something from her, but she didn’t want to push him. He’d tell him when he was ready.

Not all secrets were that easy to tell, especially to the people you loved. Kara understood that perfectly.

“Mon-El?” she whispered quietly, afraid of scaring him off. He stopped shaking for a second, and that was enough proof for her to know that he was awake and he could hear her. She gently put her hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Mon-El didn’t say anything for a moment, long enough for Kara to almost sit up, when he glanced at her over his shoulder. There was a grin on his face, but it didn’t look real at all. It was forced, and pain was written all over his face.

“Of course. I just couldn’t sleep,” he said softly. “It’s okay, though. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Mon-El…” Kara sighed, shaking her head. “You were crying.” Mon-El pressed his lips together as he stared at the ceiling, long enough to increase Kara’s anxiety level. She urged him to lie on his back so that she could see his face more clearly. He reluctantly turned to her.

“I wasn’t,” he lied again. When he saw that Kara didn’t believe him one bit, he took a deep breath. “It’s nothing, Kara. Seriously.”

“It’s not nothing,” Kara disagreed, resting her head on her hand. He reached for Mon-El’s face when he tried to turn around, wiping away one tear that managed to escape from his eyes. “Talk to me, please.” Mon-El still stayed silent, his eyes fixed on the window, looking at something outside. Kara dropped her hand on his chest. “Mon-El, I’m your girlfriend. I’m here for you, and I want to help you. But for me to be able to do that, you need to tell me what’s going on.”

They stayed like that for a couple of moments, Kara stroking Mon-El’s hair and shoulder to comfort him, and let him know she was there for him, and Mon-El just staring outside as if he couldn’t bare looking at Kara. His teeth were clenches as new tears formed in his eyes and started running down his cheeks.

“You’d hate me,” he mumbled so quietly that Kara wouldn’t be able to hear it if she wasn’t an alien. She frowned.

“Hate you? Why?” Mon-El turned to her, his eyes wide with desperation.

“You’d hate me if I told you what was going on. Who…I am.” Kara was about to laugh at that, but he looked so serious that she stopped. He truly believed his words. He truly believed that Kara would hate him. Kara shook her head, cupping his cheek and turning his eyes to her face.

“Mon-El, how could you know that when you haven’t even told me?” He looked away again, his fists clenched as he pulled away from Kara’s embrace.

“I know it.”

Kara didn’t let him get away as he tried to stand up, immediately grabbing his wrist and pulling him back. His shoulders were taut as she scooted closer, sitting right in front of him on the bed. She realized his shoulders were shaking again.

“I knew what I was signing up for when I started dating with you,” she said softly, rubbing his shoulders. Tears were streaming down his face as he just stared at his hands. “I didn’t kid myself into believing you were a saint. I knew you’ve made mistakes, but who haven’t?”

“You don’t understand,” Mon-El said, looking up. “My mistakes were…unforgivable.”

“Let me decide that,” Kara answered quickly, cupping his cheeks. “Make me understand.” He didn’t say anything as seconds passed, just looking at Kara with such love and guilt that she struggled to breathe. It was easy to see how much Mon-El cared about her, and how scared he was of losing her. She was afraid that fear would result in him shutting himself off again, until he dropped his chin in surrender.

“I lied to you when I said the prince sacrificed his life for me,” he whispered. Kara blinked in surprise, taken aback by his confession.

“Wait, what do you mean?”

“He didn’t sacrifice himself. I… I stole that pod and ran away because I was scared for my life. I was scared of dying.” He couldn’t lift his head to look at his girlfriend, he was too ashamed for that, it seemed.

Kara was baffled as she stared at Mon-El, her lips parted with shock. She didn’t know how to feel at first. Mon-El had lied to her. He’d told her that the prince had sacrificed himself for him, yet all that time he was the one that ran away.

But when she took one glance at Mon-El, she couldn’t feel angry. Not because she thought what Mon-El did was right, but because it was understandable. It didn’t even have anything to do with him being a Daxamite. On Daxam, he was just a prince’s steward, and he didn’t have the powers he had on earth. It was perfectly understandable that he would be afraid and want to escape. Hadn’t she escaped from Krypton as well? Yes, she’d just been a child, but even if she was an adult, could she say that she would’ve stayed back if she was given a choice to escape? She didn’t know.

And it wasn’t like Mon-El felt especially good about escaping. Now it made sense why he felt so at peace with dying, why he told her several times that he deserved it, why he seemed guilty every time someone mentioned Daxam. He felt terrible for what he did, and even though that wasn’t enough to atone for his mistake, it was a step towards that goal.

“Mon-El, it’s perfectly understandable why you might’ve wanted to run away.” Mon-El choked out a strangled laugh as he shook his head.

“Understandable? Leaving your friends alone to die is understandable? Escaping like a coward instead of trying to help is understandable? Because it’s true, I am a coward. I’d always been a coward.” His voice was shaking by the end with the effort to keep himself from breaking down into sobs. Kara held his face in his hands, making him look up at her eyes to see that every word she was about to tell her came from the bottom of her heart. That she wholeheartedly believed what she was saying, and she wasn’t trying to make him feel better.

“You’re not a coward. And I’m not saying this because I think what you did was right. Yes, maybe you shouldn’t have escaped, but your world was being destroyed, you were running for your life, and you didn’t know what was going on. What you did at the very least is understandable.” Mon-El opened his mouth to stop but Kara stopped him by pressing her finger on his lips. “Running away doesn’t make you a coward. In fact, right now, you were brave enough to tell me what you did. And you’ve been trying to be a hero on earth, running _into_ danger with me. Does that sound cowardice to you? Because it doesn’t to me.

“You will have to work hard to make up for what you did, but that doesn’t mean it’s unforgivable. I know you still feel guilty, and that’s how I also know you will work hard. And through all that, I’ll be by your side, Mon-El, because I know what kind of a person you’re becoming. And I forgive that person.” This time, it was Mon-El’s turn to be surprised. He stared at Kara as if she’d grown another head before he registered what he was saying, and then the tears in his eyes doubled as a quiet sob escaped from his lips. Kara’s heart cracked seeing him like that, totally open and totally broken, that she didn’t hesitate as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. He cried his heart out, his head buried on Kara’s shoulder, as both of them held onto each other as tightly as alienly possible.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here with you. You can cry as much as you want.” Kara repeated soothing words to his ear, never letting him go, being there for him for once after all those time he’d been there for her when she felt discouraged after a failed mission, or like a disappointment whenever she couldn’t save someone. He’d opened his arms for her whenever she needed it, so now she was the one opening her arms and wrapping him in her embrace. Because at the end, no matter what he’d done, he’d had the courage to tell her, and she appreciated him more for it.

Because at the end, he’d chosen working to atone for what he did over running away.


End file.
